


the sun keeps burning deep

by thorduna



Series: Oneshots [16]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Birthday, Birthday Presents, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 22:02:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4075381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorduna/pseuds/thorduna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just about everything goes wrong with Loki's birthday celebration.</p><p>That day, he is still young enough to let Thor mend it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the sun keeps burning deep

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick angsty and fluffy thing. Enjoy those dumb babies.

As he paces the length of his room, Thor humourlessly realizes something. He knows what it is like when Loki is mad at him. He also knows how it feels when his father is disappointed in him. But despite the reckless things he sometimes does, he hardly ever has to face both of these reactions at the same time.

 

And hardly ever in a way that still leaves him so baffled and, as a result, increasingly angry.

 

He stops and sighs, looking out to the darkened sky. There was nothing to do about his father's current regard of him other than do better next time, perhaps.

 

But there certainly has to be something he could say to his brother.

 

He walks the short distance between his and Loki's chambers slowly, still trying to put together what to say, a task made all the more complicated by the fact that he isn't really sure why is Loki upset with _him_.

 

Today is Loki's birthday, a milestone one, in fact, and Thor spent almost two weeks getting Loki secretly the perfect gift – or so he thought. There is a cluster of caves in Vanaheim that are the home to a rare bird, one that possesses many magical properties. Thor had learned that the feathers of such a bird were very powerful in potion-making and spellwork and after some persuading, he managed to get Hogun and Sif to accompany him to Vanaheim and together they collected nine of the feathers.

 

He presented Loki with this gift at the personal celebration that only he, Loki and their parents were attending.

 

That's when everything went wrong. Their father immediately confiscated the gift, claiming it was too dangerous for an apprentice mage such as Loki and then proceeded to scold Thor for bringing such an unsuitable, careless gift.

 

Thor opened his mouth to defend his idea, but Loki rose so promptly that his chair toppled over, interrupting him.

 

“I hope you're happy, Thor,” he spat and stalked away, leaving them all slightly shocked.

 

“Loki?” Thor knocks softly, waiting for a reply.

 

“Go away.”

 

Thor allows himself a frustrated eye-roll and knocks again. “Let me in please.”

 

There is a short pause and then the door tears open, revealing a dishevelled and positively seething Loki.

 

“Which part of _go away_ do you not understand?”

 

“The part where your door is open and I'm coming in,” Thor beams at Loki and pushes past him, ignoring the light punch to the arm it earns him. Once he's inside though, he turns a bit more serious and looks at Loki.

 

“I'm sorry, I thought it would be a good gift. I thought you would like it.”

 

Oddly enough, his words seem to make it worse and Loki's jaw drops. That's not good. Loki is only ever rendered speechless when he is truly, very angry and Thor begins to doubt whether he knows just what he got himself into.

 

“Tell me what I did wrong?” he tries, shrugging sheepishly.

 

Loki's mouth hangs open for several more seconds and then the situation takes a turn that Thor was not expecting at all. Loki whips around to hide his face from Thor and slaps a palm over his mouth, trying – and failing – to suppress a sob.

 

Thor reacts automatically at that point. He tried to keep some resemblance of control when coming to Loki, intent on making amends and getting Loki to forgive him, but the sound of Loki crying – and so unexpectedly too – just wipes all caution from his mind and he marches forward, wrapping his arms around Loki's shaking back.

 

“I'm sorry,” he keeps repeating, lips pressed into Loki's hair. He's confused and growing frantic – what's happening?! “I'm sorry.”

 

Loki shakes his head violently, almost knocking Thor's teeth out and twists in his embrace until his wet face is pressed against Thor's chest.

 

“What's wrong?” Thor presses on. “ _Please_...”

 

“Nothing,” Loki huffs tearfully against him. “Nothing, it was perfect.”

 

Taken aback, Thor hugs Loki more firmly to himself, swallowing down the obvious question _why are you mad at me, then_?, catching up on the idea that just maybe Loki's reaction can't be easily explained. And so he holds his still shaking brother, letting him ride out his anger or frustration or grief, whatever it is that makes Loki cry, stroking his back and kissing the top of his head.

 

After some time, Loki pushes him away gently, wiping his face with his sleeve and – in a movement that is at that moment almost heart-breaking to Thor – squares his shoulders, looking Thor in the eye.

 

“Sorry,” he says calmly. “It was a very good gift and I thank you for the thought. I wish I could experiment with it and I was upset that father took it away. It was not your fault.”

 

Thor frowns. This is clearly not the whole truth; he could tell so even without the clipped tone of Loki's voice.

 

“You were mad at me, truly. Why-”

 

“I wasn't,” Loki interrupts. “I'm sorry I turned my anger on you, it was aimed at father and it seems I wasn't courageous enough to tell him so to his face.”

 

Thor is struck by the way Loki said _courageous_ and says, with some cation: “We did not slay the bird, it still lives there. Perhaps in couple years of time, we could go together and collect more of the feathers.”

 

To his surprise, Loki smiles genuinely. “I would like that.”

 

Well then, Loki was not mad that Thor went on such a quest without him. He narrows his eyes.

 

“What then-”

 

“Thor!” Loki throws his hands up and turns, stalking away. “Would you let it go?”

 

“And how am _I_ to know _you_ will let it go?!” Thor shouts in reply, his anger rising as quickly as it had abated. “I still don't know what I did!”

 

“Nothing!” Loki snarls. “I thought you- but I was wrong, all right? Stop it.”

 

“You thought I _what_?!”

 

“I thought you did it on purpose! I thought you knew it was too extravagant!”

 

After Loki's outburst, silence falls over the dim room. Loki's mouth is clamped shut and for a second, his face is reflecting regret.

 

Thor feels... hurt.

 

“Oh,” is all he manages as the pieces come together. The way his father kept talking about what dangers _Thor_ went through to get the feathers, the way _Thor_ didn't realize how unfitting for Loki they were, the way he kept saying _Thor_ should have known better... And yet it was _Loki's_ celebration. A dull voice in his head tells him that he should know this already – he's heard it from Loki several times, after all, several painful, memorable times, that he's always too loud, too bright, too _there,_ leaving no space for his beloved brother, but time and time again he forgets.

 

He forgets, because he always sees that Loki is there too.

 

And to hear him say it now – that he believed, even for several short, angry minutes, that Thor constructed a situation in which to take over... it hurts, plain and simple. And maybe it's because he's just had to hold his little brother as he was wrecked with sobs, but he finds his own vision blurring as well.

 

“Oh Thor,” Loki breathes, rushing forward and then it's him who is hugging Thor tightly. “I know you wouldn't do that, I swear I know.”

 

Thor just rests his head on Loki's shoulder and waits for the moment of utter misery to pass, breathing in the familiar scent of Loki for comfort. Loki's fingers are combing his hair and he is shaking his head lightly, bumping his temple to Thor's.

 

“Come on,” Loki whispers after a while. “I stole some wine. Let's drink it on the balcony and make our plans for going to Vanaheim.”

 

Thor smiles and pulls back just enough to look at Loki. “Aye.”

 

Cupping Loki's cheeks in his hands, Thor leans forward to kiss his forehead. “It will be the grandest quest the Nine Realms ever saw.”

 

“I know,” Loki smirks. “We will both be there, after all.”

 


End file.
